A Farewell to 'Dirty Stuff': William Porker's Final Column
It's with a heavy heart that I bid adieu to my beloved 'Dirty Stuff' column. At 86, my eyesight has deteriorated to the point where even a 30-inch monitor can't help me see properly anymore. But what a journey it's been!
The Beginning of an Iconic Column
Over four decades ago, I embarked on this adventure with Phil Scott, the new editor of Street Machine, then under the ownership of Australian Consolidated Press (ACP). My first column, published in the November-December 1985 issue, was a wild ride. I recounted the morning when local tuner Barry Bromhall unveiled his modified Morris 850 Mini. Little did I know, a simple test drive would lead to a fiery encounter, literally! As Barry floored the accelerator, the cabin erupted in a blaze of blue flames, setting my hair on fire and leaving me eyebrow-less for a month. Talk about a memorable introduction to the world of street machines!
Tales of Troubles and Triumphs
In the following years, I shared countless stories like these. There was the mad Irishman and his EH Holden Premier, plagued by a mysterious distributor issue. Turns out, it was just a hole in the vacuum advance unit, causing raw fuel to ignite and blow the cap off. And who could forget the Ford Galaxie with its broken roller cam follower, a potential disaster waiting to happen?
These tales, and thousands more, have kept me and my readers entertained for four decades. My wife, Jan, has been my rock, tolerating my colorful language and assisting with the administrative side of things. And let's not forget Editor Broads, who kindly reminded me when my column was due—a necessary nudge for an old man like me!
A Legacy and a Thank You
'Dirty Stuff' has been more than just a column; it's been a part of my life, and I'm grateful to my readers for joining me on this journey. It's stopped me from resorting to unconventional culinary choices like barbecued bandicoot and casseroled kangaroo! But now, it's time to hang up my writing hat and close the garage door.
And here's where it gets controversial... What's your take on these stories? Do you have any wild car tales of your own? Share your thoughts and keep the spirit of 'Dirty Stuff' alive in the comments below! I'd love to hear your stories and continue the conversation.
